Holding the Conversation and Sustaining the Practice

Facilitator support for What Is This For?

By Matthew J. Skolnik

Prepare a hospitable conversation

You do not need to be a theological expert to guide this series. Read the article, its Scripture, and the three questions. Notice one place where the material may touch a live concern in your group. Choose an ordinary responsibility that people can discuss without disclosing confidential information. A routine example can reveal a great deal without making a vulnerable person the subject of the lesson.

Make time in the agenda before adding the conversation. Shorten something discretionary or use two meetings when necessary. Send the article in a form people can access, with enough notice for those who prefer to prepare. Check what participants need to hear, read, travel, use technology, and contribute. Do not require reading aloud or spontaneous personal disclosure.

Open by making the invitation clear: the group will examine its own practices together, and people may pass or contribute in writing. Encourage members to describe what they have observed rather than explain another person’s motives. State any confidentiality boundaries appropriate to the group. Do not promise absolute confidentiality when responsibilities to protect people or follow established processes prevent that promise.

Hold the movement of the questions

Each article has three main questions. The first directs attention to Scripture and actual experience. The second examines assumptions, power, effects, and limits. The third moves toward a responsible response. Give each movement enough space. If the group immediately proposes a solution, return gently to what it has heard and what remains uncertain.

You do not need an answer from everyone to every prompt. Allow a brief silence before discussion. A voluntary round can help more people participate; passing should remain easy. Invite a person who has spoken frequently to listen while others contribute. Ask whether anyone sees the situation differently before treating a shared impression as a conclusion.

Avoid manufacturing consensus. Record a difference that matters to the proposed action. The group may agree on a small listening step while holding different explanations of the problem. If the decision requires formal action, follow the body’s established process. A reflective conversation does not silently amend a policy or authorize spending.

When someone says they already do their work

Receive the statement as information before treating it as resistance. Ask what the person is already carrying and whether the proposed practice would add a burden. Then bring the group back to the purpose of the responsibility: What happens to people when this work is done? What connection helps it reach them? Is there something to simplify so the group can attend to its effects?

If the responsibility truly belongs elsewhere, ask what a faithful connection would look like. It might mean identifying the authorized body, explaining the concern, and confirming that a willing person has received it. Avoid turning shared ministry into permission to take over. Also avoid allowing an unclear boundary to leave a person without a response.

A useful facilitator response is: “Your contribution matters, and we need to understand its limits. Could we look together at how this part of the work reaches the people it is meant to serve?” Leave room for an answer that changes the proposed practice. The question should be an invitation to discernment, not a polite way to secure compliance.

When the conversation becomes difficult

A member may hear criticism of work they have sustained for years. Thank them specifically for what they have carried and distinguish appreciation for their service from evaluation of a practice. Ask what they have learned through doing the work. Another member may be naming an exclusion that has persisted for years. Do not make their patience a condition of being heard.

Conversations about race, disability, age, status, or professional power should stay connected to concrete patterns: who receives information, who influences decisions, whose gifts are recognized, and who bears the burden. People affected may contribute, decline, or disagree with one another. They should not be expected to educate the entire group or defend the legitimacy of their experience before it receives attention.

If the conversation reveals an immediate safety concern, abuse, harassment, or a personnel matter, stop treating it as a general learning example. Attend to immediate protection and the applicable reporting or response process, using appropriate qualified help. The series cannot adjudicate such a matter. Do not use calls for unity, forgiveness, or slow formation to delay necessary action.

Ordinary disagreement can remain in the room without becoming an emergency. Name the concern, allow a pause, and ask what would help the group understand it responsibly. When more support is needed, decide who can provide it and when you will return. Avoid requiring a person who describes harm to reconcile with someone as a condition of continued participation.

Keep one manageable practice alive

Choose an action small enough to be carried out within work already underway. The group owns the practice; a willing member or pair tends it. Everyone does not need a separate monthly assignment. Rotate responsibility where that helps, and check that less visible preparation is shared fairly. An action without a willing person, necessary support, or proper authority is not yet an agreed commitment.

Use a short record:

Protect private details and use the appropriate records for your setting. This record can inform the next agenda without replacing official minutes. After minutes are approved for accuracy, the group can separately ask what it has learned about a previous decision’s effects. Any new decision or authorized amendment should be handled through the proper procedure.

At the next meeting, ask what happened before asking whether the practice succeeded. If it did not happen, examine its size, clarity, timing, support, and consent. Do not let the chair or staff quietly rescue every incomplete commitment. The difficulty may reveal something the group needs to change about how it assigns work.

Celebrate without creating a new burden

Name an action and the good you observed. Ask permission before telling another person’s story publicly. Include those who prepare, listen, question, follow through, and make participation possible. Some people prefer a private thank-you. Appreciation should not imply that the person has agreed to keep doing the work indefinitely.

The back-porch gathering in Conversation 5 is an invitation to notice hospitality. It does not establish that every chair should host at home. Ask participants what the gathering made possible and what barriers it may have created. Carry forward the quality of welcome in a setting that fits your people.

At the end of the six conversations, keep one practice for three months. Review it briefly each month and make a fuller decision at the agreed date. Explain its purpose to new members, who may help you see what has become invisible. Formation continues as the group remembers, listens, responds, and learns again.

Sources and further reading

• The six conversations in this collection provide the Scripture, questions, and practices this guide supports.
• Book of Order 2025–2027, F-1.01 and G-3.0106, for the relationship of mission and structure; consult the provisions applicable to your own body’s authority and responsibilities.
• Ephesians 4:1–16; Galatians 6:1–5; Colossians 3:12–17: humility, mutual care, responsibility, and shared formation.
• Facilitation suggestions here are the collection’s practical applications. They do not replace a body’s governing documents or policies.

Acknowledgment

This article and its conversation were influenced by the wisdom shared by the Presbytery of the Western Reserve (PWR) staff in September 2026: Judy Mitchell, Stated Clerk; Laura VanDale, Associate for Justice Ministries; and Josh Daum, Presbytery Operations Manager. With gratitude for their insight, questions, and ministry alongside Matthew J. Skolnik, the author of this collection.

© 2026 Matthew J. Skolnik. Scripture excerpts retain their separate attribution and license.